you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I want to fling myself into the sun
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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