Acid is not a monday night drug
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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