I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
