I wish I could teleport
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
