capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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