is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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