Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
