Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He passed out mid-signature
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
whose parrot is this?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
