PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
