I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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