Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize