at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
