Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
