someone get that fucking seahorse.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
