Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
