another moral hangover. fuck.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
