Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
