Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid

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(404): View more from Georgia

Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.

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(419): View more from Ohio

its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn

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(442): View more from California

her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.

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(646): View more from New York

Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.

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(208): View more from Idaho

We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.

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