I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
