You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
