Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
