I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
