At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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