Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I look better un-naked...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
