You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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