Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
