This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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