I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
