He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
