I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
