oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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