There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize