What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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