I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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