Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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