its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
