Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
