I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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