I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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