just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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