Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
