Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
