So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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