Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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