Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
