hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
