what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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