You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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