Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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