i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
