I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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