2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
