Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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