i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
