I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
