the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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